My heart is broken

Assalamulaikum dan selamat petang semua.

Last week I got two sad news, it broke my heart to piece if i'm being honest. Still remember the cuddle buddy i told in previous post? It turns out last week dia in relationship with some girl and ask me about it. On the same night, he still spend the night in my room and I said to myself maybe this is the last hug i would get. It just so sad, bila i put my face on his chest my mata dah berair and i said this is last,please kuatkan semangat. Dia just gosok my kepala( maybe without clue what happen). After that night, dia macam notice mcm aku dah start jauhkan diri and aku macam banyak diamkan diri. Itulah apa yang aku selalu buat, when i like someone and afraid aku just jauhkan diri. Bila dia ajak hangout, aku ditch sebab bagi aku, aku tak nak bila develops feeling yang dalam nanti aku tak boleh nak let go and in the end aku sendiri yang sakit.

After that, the next day I got news my so not ex-girlfriend dah bertunang. It broke my heart to piece because it hurt so bad. We separate in a good ways before this. I still care about her and if anyone ask yes I still love her. When bila dia ada problems with her fiancée memang kadang-kadang macam nak hasut dia supaya break but aku fikir balik untuk apa aku buat semua benda tu?Aku bukan macam tu. Aku tak nak jadi macam tu. Dulu aku pernah ckp aku yang despise people yg tak ada dishonesty dalam relationship so why aku nak buat benda sama?Then, went to my bestfriend and i said can i have a hug, i could use hug. 

It have been rough week, hopefully dapat sleep well ease the pain slowly. :')