Say goodbye to him...

Selamat petang. Selamat 10 malam terakhir awak-awak2 semua haha.

Despite everything, this week for me quite sad because I have to say goodbye to him. So memang this week we just spend weekend in my house. He sleeps, berbuka and everything in my room. So dia basically kena balik semula his company and aku sendiri pun nak further postgraduate study. Macam hari last tu tengah cuddle dia aku cakap,

"Nanti mesti aku rindu kau...nak peluk kau"perlahan suara aku.

"Tak apa..aku pun rindu kau jugak..."

Diam sekejap tanpa suara. Dia letakkan kepala aku dekat leher dia. 

"Shhh, jangan sedih nanti aku datang lawat kau selalu k?"dia usap kepala aku lembut.

Aku hanya mengangguk perlahan. Dia pun mengeratkan pelukan. Serius, aku rasa mcm sebak gila. Aku dah move on but part me say jangan lepaskan because aku rasa aku sayangkan dia lagi. He give me his sweater. So setiap kali aku rindu dia aku akan peluk that sweater supaya rindu tu mampu nak ubat hati aku yg lara ni (amboi ayat bukan main lg hahahhaaa)

So memang the whole day just berborak, tidur and hugging all day. Aku sempat cakap biceps dia dah mengecik, dia cakap tunggu dia datang next month..nak tunjuk biceps baru dia dekat aku hahahaha. Jadi aku rasa mungkin inilah masa yang tepat untuk lepaskan dia dari hati aku slowly....sakit yes, perit yes tapi if aku tak try sampai bila nak tunggu?

p/s: nasib baik tak menangis depan dia...

Still unrequited

2 March

Well, apa orang putih selalu ckp "it's been a while since the tragedy" hahaha ayat entah- entah apa2 gila. Aku sendiri tak tahu if aku masuk grieving phase ke or still lagi in denial or dah masuk acceptance. Part of me say, i'm ready to let go tapi dalam masa yang sama aku tak nak lepaskan sebab he is one of the best thing yang happen in my life...

Haris

Haris menutup diarinya..

"Orang macam aku ni selalu akan mengemis Syafiq....tu satu perkara yang kau tak akan faham.."hampir menitis air mata Haris.

"Aku mungkin tak faham tapi yang pasti aku tetap sayangkan kau..."mata Syafiq sudah berkaca

Unrequited love continued......

Fasting Month

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah sebab kita sempat lg berpuasa pada tahun ni. Just nak wish selamat berpuasa semua. Jangan nakal-nakal bulan Ramadhan ni hahaha. Jangan lupa kumpul pahala banyak-banyak and thanks for always had my back even virtually. Tq jugak always give me nasihat and opinion.

p/s: puasa penuh ya semua :p

My heart is broken

Assalamulaikum dan selamat petang semua.

Last week I got two sad news, it broke my heart to piece if i'm being honest. Still remember the cuddle buddy i told in previous post? It turns out last week dia in relationship with some girl and ask me about it. On the same night, he still spend the night in my room and I said to myself maybe this is the last hug i would get. It just so sad, bila i put my face on his chest my mata dah berair and i said this is last,please kuatkan semangat. Dia just gosok my kepala( maybe without clue what happen). After that night, dia macam notice mcm aku dah start jauhkan diri and aku macam banyak diamkan diri. Itulah apa yang aku selalu buat, when i like someone and afraid aku just jauhkan diri. Bila dia ajak hangout, aku ditch sebab bagi aku, aku tak nak bila develops feeling yang dalam nanti aku tak boleh nak let go and in the end aku sendiri yang sakit.

After that, the next day I got news my so not ex-girlfriend dah bertunang. It broke my heart to piece because it hurt so bad. We separate in a good ways before this. I still care about her and if anyone ask yes I still love her. When bila dia ada problems with her fiancée memang kadang-kadang macam nak hasut dia supaya break but aku fikir balik untuk apa aku buat semua benda tu?Aku bukan macam tu. Aku tak nak jadi macam tu. Dulu aku pernah ckp aku yang despise people yg tak ada dishonesty dalam relationship so why aku nak buat benda sama?Then, went to my bestfriend and i said can i have a hug, i could use hug. 

It have been rough week, hopefully dapat sleep well ease the pain slowly. :')